Staring at the blank page before you…release your inhibitions–yes, I watch “The Hills” (it’s my only, only, lone guilty pleasure and I really shouldn’t be flaunting it like this). Admit it–you watch it, too. It’s unavoidable like “American Idol.”

First season, I was obsessed. Second season, I was like, “Come on, now–I’m an adult.” Third season, I had to FIGHT the urge to stop people on the street and ask them if they saw the show! Thankfully, I have an outlet here, so this way, I won’t be in Trader Joe’s talking to the cashier about soy butter and LC.

It seems like all LC wants is a date/boyfriend. And that’s why I’ve always maintained that I would never allow my little sister (if I had one) to watch this show. “Your beer says a lot about you…it says you’re a guy’s guy.” Who says that? I’m just tired of seeing women only aspire to go on a date. I was so disappointed when she gave up a chance to go to Paris to basically hang on the beach with Jason. She just doesn’t seem very concerned with fashion.

LC should try to be more career-oriented like Whitney. Whitney and the Teen Vogue internship were always the most redeeming aspects of the show to me (I’ll never understand why People’s Revolution offered LC a job). Also, I loved Whitney’s shirt this episode, the one in beginning. She should just mail to me.

But wait, there’s more…

It seems like more people than ever are plotting their way onto the show (see: Heidi’s sister, Spencer’s sister, Lo). Is Spencer ever happy? He’s seriously angry every episode! Spencer stayed with his sister indefinitely and now he’s pouting (what’s new?) about Heidi’s sister Holly coming to crash at their apartment for like, a few days. Are there any other relatives we should know about?

I like Audrina–is it safe for me to say that I’m on Team Audrina? I really like the way she’s handled everything with Lo up until this point. Like Audrina, I deal with energy. But you don’t need to rely on energy to get a handle on Lo–she’s pretty flagrant. Anyways, why does LC have to babysit Lo at the party? How many times have we all gone to a party and not known anyone there? But I guess LC had a point when she said that Lo doesn’t owe Audrina anything. Wait, correction–she owes her respect.

And in case you missed the major guest house confrontation between Audrina and Lo, here’s how I heard it:

“I feel like…”
“Wait, but I feel like…”
“I feel like…”
“Well, I feel like…”
“I feel like we’ll never be friends.”
“Oh. Well, I guess that I’ll leave you to your place then.”

My business teacher in high school gave us this list of effective communicating tips for women. Probably the only thing I remember from it is that women tend to express themselves with “I feel” rather than “I think.” I guess they didn’t have Intro to Occupations at that Laguna Beach High School…

Frankie is so funny; he steals the show. I love how Frankie always poses the most profound question on the episode, whether it’s “The Hills” or “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” “The question is, do you want to save the friendship?” Or, if this was Kardashians, it would be: “The question is, Kim, where do you want to go with your career?”

I hope LC and Heidi finally reconcile this season. I mean, I love/hate the show for all of the drama, but LC needs to let go of that grudge already, especially since they have to work together on the show. What annoys me most is that they can’t even take promo pictures together because that’s where it crosses the line of being just plainly unprofessional.

Coming up this season: So Heidi’s sister Holly really is trying to be the new leading Speidi sister, now that Speidi has banished Stephanie for her allegiance to LC. This season, it looks like Holly’s going to try to friend LC and get her back with Heidi. What’s at stake for reuniting LC and Heidi? The Nobel Peace Prize?

I don’t need to ask if you watched–sadly, everyone watches “The Hills” over whatever comes on in the 10 spot on the History Channel. What did you think about the big premiere? Or, to rephrase that question for women, how did you feel about it? Was Audrina too mean to Lo? Should Spencer and Heidi let Holly move in?